第1章(2/2)

哦,和女性版的自己还是一起手挽着手的闺蜜。

“你冷静点,回头我给你写。”

是啊,你怎么可能会有这种体验?又怎么可能体会过我的心情?在充斥着ooc和霸总小娇妻的同人粮堆里,能够以一己之力挽救我对五悠泛滥成灾的低质量同人的心灰意冷,依靠还原至极的片段和文笔让我大呼哈利路亚的【夏油杰】,当然值得我用最狗腿的一面来对待!

“【杰】,打个商量,放开我好么?”

“呜呜呜但这可是悠仁啊!世界第一可爱的悠仁——【杰】你敢对天发誓你不心动吗?”

“我可不记得我有对谁这么……狗腿过。”

据我闺蜜说,当时我就跟闻到猫薄荷而失了智的猫一样,本能似的用出了瞬间移动的术式,然后毫不犹豫抱住了虎杖悠仁,快得连旁边本尊五条悟都没拦住。

这场面实在是过于生草,以至于五条悟下意识摸出手机。

其实当初和沙雕群友面基时,我预订要出的cs是性转版的虎杖悠仁。毕竟那段时间我超爱他,这个高情商体脂率个位数的男子高中生全身上下每一个点都长在我的xp上。但因为我本人对夜神月一类的角色毫无抵抗力,极度欣赏夏油杰这个擅长蛊人的男人——于是我不知不觉就在我那帮沙雕群友的劝诱下换成了cs性转五条悟。

不过他震惊归震惊,我该舔的还是要舔。

“不行!”——这是五条悟。

伏黑惠和钉崎野蔷薇最初看到我还震惊了一下,但在围观到我被【夏油杰】牢牢控制住的全过程后,看我就跟看智障一样。反倒是先前一照面就被我骚扰了的虎杖悠仁,挠挠脸颊跟小狗似的凑了过来。

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她扭着我的脖颈,随后对五条悟露出一个歉意的表情。

作为一个亲手写过五悠煌文的写手,我怎么可能拒绝这个理由?而且cs五条悟的话,去漫展我还能跟虎杖悠仁的cser合影!

两票否决把我一票同意给牢牢按下去,我气得咬牙切齿,正想开口反驳,但我闺蜜大概是觉得我可能会说出不适合普通高中生听见的发言,看了我一眼,然后露出那种特别无奈的表情。

闺蜜没说话,只是微笑着看着我。

“……心动和变态是两个概念,麻烦你不要混淆。”

会心一击!我被打出了会心一击!

闺蜜叹了口气,然后在五条悟本人不可置信的眼神里慢悠悠上前两步,然后伸手掐住我的后颈。

【夏油杰】思索三秒,然后对他摇摇头。“不行,我不接受没有开美颜滤镜没有修图的照片被发给别人。”

“放开的话你马上就会被人以猥丨亵男子高中生的罪名送上银手镯。”

这个过于女性化的回答简直震惊五条悟一整年,至少我这双临时变异的六眼就清晰看见他整个人动作都定格了一瞬。

“才不会!我有分寸的!”

隔着一层布料我都能感受到小老虎锻炼结实的好身材。这胸肌,这腹肌,抱到的这一刻我当场去世都没问题。啊,衣服是晒过吗?好像还有太阳的味道。

; ——啊!是活的!会动的!超可爱的虎杖悠仁!

“能拍照吗?我要上传给夜蛾校长看。”

“好的我可以!!!”——这是我。

“那个,女性的老师……如果特别想抱的话,我应该也行……?”

“不行。”——这是我闺蜜【夏油杰】。

“不好意思,一个没看住就丢人了。平时她没这么不靠谱,我替她给各位道歉了。”

但是!现在!虎杖悠仁本人!就在我面前!

“悠仁~~~”

一年级的高专学生自然认不出她,但五条悟本人肯定认得出。虽然眼前这位个子变矮了声音变甜了就连脸型线条都变得柔美,但这个穿着僧衣的女人毫无疑问就是夏油杰。

“好的没问题!我现在立刻断绝对世俗的欲丨望!”

我闺蜜叹了口气,眼神在虎杖悠仁和五条悟身上飘了一会儿。“其实【悟】你写得比我好多了,真搞不懂为什么你非要看我写的。”

关键时刻我闺蜜的吐槽一如既往的给力,尤其是在说“变态”这个词时眼角上挑,透着的那股仿佛在看垃圾一样的眼神,瞬间让我下意识松了手。

“一看到悠仁就失了智上去抱的人,没有分寸这种东西。”

“【悟】,不想我报警的话就快松手。吓到别人了哦。”

理由也非常充分——能够同时做到欣赏夏油杰而且又喜欢虎杖悠仁的,除了五条悟还有谁。四舍五入这不就是你本人嘛?

我迅速端正态度,在【夏油杰】面前低眉顺眼的连五条悟本人都觉得辣眼睛。

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